The other day, I was in the car with my friends, driving home from the ski house and we were listening to jams from the 90s. The Spice Girls, "Wannabe" came on and someone asked, "What year is this from?" I remembered dancing to it when I was a senior in high school, so I estimated 1997.
Suddenly, I realized that 1997 was 16 years ago, which means that half of the high school students today WEREN'T EVEN BORN when I was dancing to that song in 1997. Then, I felt kind of old.
Here's a question: How come high school seemed to last forever, but when I think about the past 4 years of my life, they seem to have flown by? Four years ago, things weren't all that different for me. I still lived in Brighton. I still worked at a job and paid bills. I still went skiing every winter with the same people. Being 30 isn't all that different from being 34, in reality (except that your attractiveness goes way down on dating websites). In sum, thinking about 4 years ago doesn't seem like it was that long ago. Yet, when I was a senior in high school, thinking about my freshman year felt like forever ago. Hell, even in college, freshman year felt pretty far off from senior year! So what's going on? Why is time going by so quickly now? I feel like it shouldn't be this way, especially since life is actually more boring now than it was in college. Do you think it's because the period of a year is now a much smaller fraction of our lives overall? Is it because life is more monotonous and we don't have huge landmark moments that we're always planning for, like SATs or prom?
When I was a kid, I was scared of almost everything that was ahead of me in life. (I was an anxious kid). I remember once my dad gave me what I still believe is one of the most comforting pieces of advice I have received in life: "When it comes time for you to do these things, it won't feel like nearly such a big deal. I promise you'll be ready." And, I was.
As an example, the idea of driving on the highways used to be just about the most impossible thing I could imagine. I was PETRIFIED of driving on the highway. Yet, when it came time, I just did it. Yeah, we all know it's scary at first, but now I love driving on the highway. What happened between the time I was petrified and the time I was confident? Wouldn't it be awesome if you could just skip the scared part and go straight to confident? It seems like such a waste of time to worry so much about the unknown when you'll eventually have to face it and it turns out to be not so bad, just like your parents always told you.
This brings me to parental advice, which I've always been very good (a little too good) at taking. This is why I pretty much never got into trouble as a teen. Here's my thinking. People older than you are have already had to deal with all the scary stuff that you've had to deal with in life, so you might as well take their word for it. For example, parents always try to warn their daughters that most dudes do not have their best intentions in mind. However, most girls (myself included) have to go through the painful process of realizing the truth of the matter. There are so many lessons in life that we have to learn as we're growing up, and no matter how many people have learned the lessons before us, and how many times they warn us, or how many songs and stories are written about it, we still have to learn these lessons in person. What's up with that? Would we be better and wiser people if we simply listened to our elders all the time and did exactly what they said?
So, it's awkward, because on one hand, you're always thinking of yourself as growing up.. I STILL refer to my parents as grown-ups and I'm the kid. Yet, I'm not a kid any more. I'm the grown-up now according to a lot of kids out there, and that is fundamentally a freaky thing. It's such a linear thing...I can talk to a kid and remember exactly what it was like to be their age, but they have no concept of what it's like to be me. It can even happen with older kids - kids in their 20s. I remember being 20 and going to my cousin Meg's wedding. She said, "Katie, wait until you're 30 to get married." I nodded, but thought, "No freaking way! I'm going to be married when I'm 25." I judged her at that young, vain age. I judged her for being 30 and not being married yet. Yet here I am, 34 and unmarried and I totally get it, and it's fine. I feel irritated at myself for being so judge-y when I was 20. I knew NOTHING when I was 20. I guess you learn the most when you are between 0 and 4 years old or something. I think that you learn the second most when you are between 25 and 35. I really think this. Meg was right with her advice (not that I'm saying getting married when you are in your mid-20s is wrong). I'm just saying, getting married when you're older is also not such a bad idea, but young women will go on judging older women for this choice because they are being dumb.
I used to ask my dad what age he felt like "inside". Like, did he feel 50 when he was 50? What does it mean to feel 50? He told me that he pretty much thinks that he feels like he's 18. Like, he got to age 18 and stopped internally aging at that point. This is kind of scary, because what is it like to be 18 and inside the body of a 60 year old? People I don't know are frequently surprised (if not shocked) that I am 34. Part of me is really disturbed by this. What does it mean to look like I'm 34? I feel pretty much the same inside as I did when I was 27 or so. Why does that seem so old? (In retrospect, 34 did seem pretty old when I was 20.)
I guess the feeling old thing didn't really start until recently, and I'm trying to figure out where it came from. I think the Spice Girls thing pretty much nailed it on the head though. Music is such a sign of the times, and when you realize that music that still sounds pretty current to you, i.e. Nelly Hot in Herrrrrre, is actually "old skool" to kids in high school, that's when it really hits you. Or, when you look at a picture of yourself in college and realize that it was taken 16 years ago...that's another shocker.
I have no real point to make here. I was just thinking. I guess I'll get back to aging now.
PS: I think that Justin Bieber used to be the cutest, and now I think he seems like a total douche. And, I hate his stupid harem pants.
Suddenly, I realized that 1997 was 16 years ago, which means that half of the high school students today WEREN'T EVEN BORN when I was dancing to that song in 1997. Then, I felt kind of old.
Here's a question: How come high school seemed to last forever, but when I think about the past 4 years of my life, they seem to have flown by? Four years ago, things weren't all that different for me. I still lived in Brighton. I still worked at a job and paid bills. I still went skiing every winter with the same people. Being 30 isn't all that different from being 34, in reality (except that your attractiveness goes way down on dating websites). In sum, thinking about 4 years ago doesn't seem like it was that long ago. Yet, when I was a senior in high school, thinking about my freshman year felt like forever ago. Hell, even in college, freshman year felt pretty far off from senior year! So what's going on? Why is time going by so quickly now? I feel like it shouldn't be this way, especially since life is actually more boring now than it was in college. Do you think it's because the period of a year is now a much smaller fraction of our lives overall? Is it because life is more monotonous and we don't have huge landmark moments that we're always planning for, like SATs or prom?
When I was a kid, I was scared of almost everything that was ahead of me in life. (I was an anxious kid). I remember once my dad gave me what I still believe is one of the most comforting pieces of advice I have received in life: "When it comes time for you to do these things, it won't feel like nearly such a big deal. I promise you'll be ready." And, I was.
As an example, the idea of driving on the highways used to be just about the most impossible thing I could imagine. I was PETRIFIED of driving on the highway. Yet, when it came time, I just did it. Yeah, we all know it's scary at first, but now I love driving on the highway. What happened between the time I was petrified and the time I was confident? Wouldn't it be awesome if you could just skip the scared part and go straight to confident? It seems like such a waste of time to worry so much about the unknown when you'll eventually have to face it and it turns out to be not so bad, just like your parents always told you.
This brings me to parental advice, which I've always been very good (a little too good) at taking. This is why I pretty much never got into trouble as a teen. Here's my thinking. People older than you are have already had to deal with all the scary stuff that you've had to deal with in life, so you might as well take their word for it. For example, parents always try to warn their daughters that most dudes do not have their best intentions in mind. However, most girls (myself included) have to go through the painful process of realizing the truth of the matter. There are so many lessons in life that we have to learn as we're growing up, and no matter how many people have learned the lessons before us, and how many times they warn us, or how many songs and stories are written about it, we still have to learn these lessons in person. What's up with that? Would we be better and wiser people if we simply listened to our elders all the time and did exactly what they said?
So, it's awkward, because on one hand, you're always thinking of yourself as growing up.. I STILL refer to my parents as grown-ups and I'm the kid. Yet, I'm not a kid any more. I'm the grown-up now according to a lot of kids out there, and that is fundamentally a freaky thing. It's such a linear thing...I can talk to a kid and remember exactly what it was like to be their age, but they have no concept of what it's like to be me. It can even happen with older kids - kids in their 20s. I remember being 20 and going to my cousin Meg's wedding. She said, "Katie, wait until you're 30 to get married." I nodded, but thought, "No freaking way! I'm going to be married when I'm 25." I judged her at that young, vain age. I judged her for being 30 and not being married yet. Yet here I am, 34 and unmarried and I totally get it, and it's fine. I feel irritated at myself for being so judge-y when I was 20. I knew NOTHING when I was 20. I guess you learn the most when you are between 0 and 4 years old or something. I think that you learn the second most when you are between 25 and 35. I really think this. Meg was right with her advice (not that I'm saying getting married when you are in your mid-20s is wrong). I'm just saying, getting married when you're older is also not such a bad idea, but young women will go on judging older women for this choice because they are being dumb.
I used to ask my dad what age he felt like "inside". Like, did he feel 50 when he was 50? What does it mean to feel 50? He told me that he pretty much thinks that he feels like he's 18. Like, he got to age 18 and stopped internally aging at that point. This is kind of scary, because what is it like to be 18 and inside the body of a 60 year old? People I don't know are frequently surprised (if not shocked) that I am 34. Part of me is really disturbed by this. What does it mean to look like I'm 34? I feel pretty much the same inside as I did when I was 27 or so. Why does that seem so old? (In retrospect, 34 did seem pretty old when I was 20.)
I guess the feeling old thing didn't really start until recently, and I'm trying to figure out where it came from. I think the Spice Girls thing pretty much nailed it on the head though. Music is such a sign of the times, and when you realize that music that still sounds pretty current to you, i.e. Nelly Hot in Herrrrrre, is actually "old skool" to kids in high school, that's when it really hits you. Or, when you look at a picture of yourself in college and realize that it was taken 16 years ago...that's another shocker.
I have no real point to make here. I was just thinking. I guess I'll get back to aging now.
PS: I think that Justin Bieber used to be the cutest, and now I think he seems like a total douche. And, I hate his stupid harem pants.
Comments
Post a Comment