Hi Everyone,
I've actually been meaning to write this blog entry for months, but...well...it's been busy! I realized though, that this weekend marks a very important time for both me and my mother. After all, it is my first mother's day as a mom and it's my mom's first mother's day as a grandma (or a Granny Boo, as we call her around here.) So I wanted to take a moment to talk about my mom and thank her, in front of everyone, for what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful person she is.
I thought perhaps the best way to do so would be to highlight some of the things I love most about her.
#1: My mom is a natural care-taker
I'm realizing that it's part of a mother's duty to be the nurse of the family. Fathers are, of course, helpful and strong and protective, but nothing can replace a mother's sure and calming touch in times of intense pain or awful sickness.
My mother shines when it is her time to care for others. It's not just her children - it's anyone around her who needs care. And, it's not just sickness that she soothes, it's also life crises and broken hearts and other mental maladies.
When my mother takes care of you, it's not a run-of-the-mill nursing job.
When I had my tonsils out a few years ago and couldn't eat anything, she came up with gourmet options to try and tempt me. There was no lime jello and boring milkshakes for me - oh no. Mom warmed up pound cake and poured warm apricot juice over it to make it soft and added vanilla yogurt and served it to me in bed, standing hopefully by my side to see if I could get it down. My mom washed and changed the sheets and pillow cases on my bed religiously, making sure I was always surrounded by clean, white peacefulness. She made sure the house remained clean and calm around me and sat with me and stroked my head.
When I was horribly ill with a stomach virus recently, she held my hair back from my face while I vomited all night and put ice cold compresses on my throat and escorted me back and forth between bed and the toilet. I didn't want anyone but her during those awful times. There is NO ONE who can do it better. I'm really serious. NO ONE. Mom just always knows the right things to say and do when you're sick or suffering, and she knows just how to touch you and how to comfort you.
Sydney has gotten sick a few times over the past few months, and I feel a compelling need to hold her in my arms and rock her and soothe her, and I think to myself how much I hope that my touch is as soothing to her as my mom's is to me - still, after 37 years.
#2: My mom loves to dance
This one time, my parents and I were at a dinner party and there were a bunch of republicans there. If you know my family, you know that we normally don't hang with republicans. The point is, these weren't run-of-the-mill normal people who would just leave it alone. They came storming into the house and asked who it was who had the Howard Dean sticker on the back of their car, and so politics became a *thing* that evening.
I hate politics more than almost anything, so I kept my mouth shut for most of the evening, But there came a point when my mom got so fed up, that she turned to me and said, "Go turn on some music. Let's just dance." It was so random. So, I went into the living room, found a Pointer Sisters album, turned it up, and my mom and I started dancing around the dining room table. After a few moments, everyone was up and dancing, including the republicans.
This is just one story of many that involves my mom dancing. My mom loves to dance. She's a really, really great dancer too! She has told me on multiple occasions that you know you're really old when you stop dancing, so I should never stop dancing. I'd like to think I get some of my moves from her :)
Reason #3: My mom is a really, really good cook
I mean, look. I know that my mom doesn't love to cook all the time. I know it gets pretty tedious preparing meals night after night. And, I know that I've completely taken her for granted in the food department for a long time. Quite frankly, after moving out on my own, it's unclear to me how I have survived for all of these years without my mother - seeing as how I absolutely HATE cooking and have no imagination or talent for it whatsoever.
My mom is the type of person who throws dinner parties and intimidates other people so that they are nervous to invite her to their house because my mom's food is so delicious that it's hard to imagine measuring up. She tries to make me feel better about my own cooking non-aspirations by reminding me that when she was first married, all she knew how to make was fruit cup. I somehow doubt this.
But let's face it, there's nothing better than going to visit my mom because she makes every dinner feel like it's a mini dinner party, even if she's just cooking chicken and rice for her family. She's always been a stickler for sitting down as a family at a nicely made table, NO television on, and enjoying a healthy meal. I think it made my whole family more cohesive to have that time together. These days, regardless of whether she's in my house or I'm staying with her, she's always the chef. And I admit that I take advantage of this and really love it. But, I certainly no longer take it for granted. I love when my mom makes dinner.
Reason #4: My mom has an awesome personality
I enjoy watching my mom meet new people. Boring people are overwhelmed by her. Intelligent people with a sense of humor love her. In social situations, her voice is high and and full of laughter and mischief, with a very, very slight twang of her southern roots. She flutters around at dinner parties and flirts with EVERYONE. If there is dancing involved, she is the first one on the floor.
Then again, if intellectual conversation is required, she's right on par with anyone in the room. She knows so much about politics and history and literature, and it makes me so proud of her!
My mom loves to gossip and dish and talk, and I truly look forward to just hanging out with her, be it long walks around Newton or evening in Vermont over a glass of wine. She's my very best girlfriend. For real. She is.
So there's more, but...
This is getting long.
One final thought.
I have found, over the past few months that I've been offered some precious moments of introspection that don't normally lend themselves to every day life. Simply because I've been forced to sit up late at night, rocking a baby to sleep for an hour, or take 6 mile long walks by myself to let a baby nap. In these long stretches of forced alone time, I've found myself getting back into old habits of thinking really deep thoughts and talking to myself.
In my "Deep Thoughts by Kate Sydney" moments, one of the deepest thoughts has been a profound realization of how much my mom loves me. I know this sounds sort of backwards. But it truly is one of the most eye-opening realizations that I've had as a new parent.
After Sydney came along, I realized that the overwhelming, all-encompassing, fierce feelings of love and protectiveness that I felt must have also been experienced by my own mother. Or maybe, she STILL experiences these feelings! This floored me. It feels at times that it would be impossible to love anyone more than I love my own little daughter. The idea of something bad happening to her is so awful that I can scarcely bear to think about it. At the same time, my desire for her to be happy - when I see her happy and giggling, or well fed and sleepy and peaceful, or crowing with delight while trying to eat the cat, I feel an unmatched sort of joy. That my own mother would feel these deep emotions about me is such a new concept. I guess maybe it should have been obvious, but it's not. I really don't think anyone can really understand how much their parent loves them until they become a parent themselves. I understand now why my mom always wants me to text or call her when I arrive home after a long drive. Or why my hurts and burdens weigh so awfully heavily on her. And why she is proud of me and when she is disappointed in me (which is, let's face it, like never.)
This mother's day is not about me. It's about my mom. It's about how thankful I am and blessed to have such a wonderful wonderful woman loving me and raising me and now helping to teach me about motherhood. It's about finally really, really understanding how much she loves me, and in turn, how much I love her.
Happy mother's day, mom.
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