Dear Friends and Family,
I am not sending out a holiday card this year, which doesn't mean that if you were going to send me one, you should stop. I love getting cards. I relish it. I won't see any of them until after the New Year because I am holed up in my parents' house in VT, but still...I look forward to seeing them.
No....I am not sending out cards this year. It is mostly for financial reasons. I like to send out so many cards that it becomes rather costly and, as many of you know, I have joined the ranks of the unemployed. I've given very small gifts to my family this year, the highlight of which was a lug wrench for my father. I wrapped it so well that it looks like a lug wrench - wrapped. He has decided to keep it wrapped, so he'll be the only one changing over his snow tires using a red and green sparkly lug wrench next spring. It cost $12.99.
2012 has been.....interesting. It's all going to end in 3 days anyway, so even if I had the cards ready, you wouldn't get them in time. Let me tell you a little bit about what's gone on this year, both the good and the not-so-good.
First, my parents went crazy and decided to move to Vermont. My mom decided that I would be ok cooking for myself and my dad decided I was ready to change my own snow tires and they moved away. After they left, I often drove past our old house on Athelstane Road, starving and sliding around on insufficient summer tires, looking at the windows upstairs, now occupied by a different family of ambiguous ethnicity. Fortunately, my brother and his now-wife Andrea moved into the downstairs apartment, which looks exactly like the upstairs apartment - sans 2nd floor. So they feed me from time to time and generously stored my snow tires under their porch.
Second, my brother got MARRIED. The event occurred in California. A lot of you were there and can attest to the loveliness of the nuptials. I got drunk and dragged Ryan outside in the middle of the reception and sobbed while sitting on the alter, claiming that I was just "so emotional but in a good way". Ryan patted my back and questioned his choices.
Actually, the wedding happened at the same time that Ryan and I were about halfway through the INSANITY workout. For those of you who do not know, the INSANITY workout consists of 9 weeks of hellish hour long workouts which you do 6 days a week with a break on Sunday. The whole reason why I decided to do the INSANITY workout was because Ryan and I watched GI Jane and I was truly and deeply inspired by Demi Moore when I found out that there were no camera tricks when they showed her doing 1-armed push-ups. I thought to myself, "I want to do 1-armed push-ups". So, I bought the DVDs off craiglist from a really, really skinny-looking dude who hadn't even broke the cellophane on the package. I'm telling you, from the look of him, he couldn't have handled it.
Anyway, Ryan and I dutifully woke up every single morning at about 6:00AM, rolled back the carpet in my dining room, and turned on Shaun T. (the INSANITY instructor), who basically bullied and tortured us into the best shape I've ever been in my life. Yes, it works. I could do 50 push-ups (not 1-armed though). I randomly ran a 5K and felt like I could run 5K more. I felt awesome every single day and bragged about how awesome I felt every single day and a lot of people became very annoyed with me. Now, 6 months out, could I see myself doing that again? Hellllllllll no. It was so hard. Also, my legs got huge and I went up 2 pant sizes. True story.
Third, Ryan got a job as an art teach in Bath, Maine, and moved up there. So, he and I are officially in an LDR. Bath is a 3 hour drive from Boston. Awesomely, it is absolutely no closer to the ski mountains than Boston is. I know, right? You think, "I've driven 3 hours north...I've got to be nearing a ski area", but no. Actually, conveniently, my parent's house is also 2.5 hours away from Boston. And Bath is 3 hours away from Norwich, VT. I know, right? You think, "I've driven 3 hours north, there must be a way to cut across Maine and get to Norwich", but no. Apparently when they designed northern New England, they did not design a highway system that ran East to West. So, as a result, I've spent a whole, whole lot of time driving. Fortunately, I drive a Honda Civic, one of the most efficient cars on the highway today. (God, I love that car. Go SWIFTWIND!)
Unfortunately, due to a rock water slide incident that took place in August of 2011, my tailbone did not take to the ride as well as my car did. I started being one of those people that has to use a donut pillow - one of those people who others secretly question whether or not they have really, really horrible hemorrhoids.
Which brings me to -
Fourth - I got a cortizone shot in my butt. I'm not going to get into it. Actually, I am. Only enough to say that getting diagnosed for and receiving the shot is not a comfortable experience for any normal person. HOWEVER, OMG you guys, it worked so well. I am so pro-cortizone. I was under this impression that I'd be a crippled, donut-pillow-using, faux-hemorrhoid-having person for the rest of my life (not that hemorrhoids are something to be ashamed of, but you know what I mean). Now, I realize that it is possible to leave the so-called "tailbone club" and re-join the ranks of people who are able to sit for long periods of time on both butt cheeks. Listen to me right now, people. If you can sit for long periods of time on both butt cheeks, consider how wonderful this is. Really appreciate it, because once you've lost it, you notice it...believe me.
Fifth - I got laid-off.
Now, being laid-off is different than being fired. I hate it when Andy Sydney says something like, "When did you get fired?" Or, "How long has it been since you got fired?"
Ok people...I was NOT fired.
Being fired is when your boss thinks that you suck at your job and you've done something really wrong and they tell you to leave and not come back. I don't think you get unemployment.
Being laid-off is when your boss thinks that basically you are dead weight and don't contribute enough to remain. You get unemployment and severance!
See, it's waaaaay better.
I initially thought that being laid-off would be awesome. I wasn't happy at my job anyway, and I thought that being laid-off would feel like some wonderful, neverending vacation. However, as I'm sure some of you know, there's something highly disconcerting about a "vacation" with no boundaries.
Every day you think, "I should be taking better of advantage of this!" But then you think, "No, I should be looking for a job!" And then you think, "I want to go to Starbucks and get a chai latte, but I shouldn't spend any money!" So then you think, "It's pointless. I'll just stay here and watch episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras from 2009." And then you feel depressed.
It's ok though. It's been about a month and a half and I'm finally feeling semi-ok with the idea of this neverending vacation. I rotate homes between the northern side of the triangle and Boston. When I stay with my parents, my mom feeds me again and this good food goes straight to my soul. My dad constantly drills holes into various projects and cuts up wood and tells me that I'm a good and talented person.
When I stay with Ryan, he feeds me also! And he reminds me that I'm a good person, even though I'm home all day and he's teaching and then he still has to make me dinner at night because I suck at cooking. And even though I'm very slightly crazy.
What's next for me? I'm thinking massage school. I am NOT EVEN KIDDING you guys. I'm ready for a big change. I'm ready for a fantastic 2013. I'm ready to move up to Maine and take one leg out of the triangle journey. I'm ready to engage myself to Ryan and debate whether or not to have a wedding. (It's going to happen any day now. I can feel it!)
So, Happy AnniChrisBirthMikah! (Parents' 41st anniversary on the 18th, my birthday on the 22nd, Christmas and Hanukkah). I wish you all happiness, healthiness and successes for 2013.
I also sincerely hope that the world does not end in 3 days. But if it does, I really meant everything I said in here....except for the part about me being starving all the time because my mom left. I'm only starving some of the time.
xxoo
kate
I am not sending out a holiday card this year, which doesn't mean that if you were going to send me one, you should stop. I love getting cards. I relish it. I won't see any of them until after the New Year because I am holed up in my parents' house in VT, but still...I look forward to seeing them.
No....I am not sending out cards this year. It is mostly for financial reasons. I like to send out so many cards that it becomes rather costly and, as many of you know, I have joined the ranks of the unemployed. I've given very small gifts to my family this year, the highlight of which was a lug wrench for my father. I wrapped it so well that it looks like a lug wrench - wrapped. He has decided to keep it wrapped, so he'll be the only one changing over his snow tires using a red and green sparkly lug wrench next spring. It cost $12.99.
 |
| My dad - pure awesomeness |
2012 has been.....interesting. It's all going to end in 3 days anyway, so even if I had the cards ready, you wouldn't get them in time. Let me tell you a little bit about what's gone on this year, both the good and the not-so-good.
First, my parents went crazy and decided to move to Vermont. My mom decided that I would be ok cooking for myself and my dad decided I was ready to change my own snow tires and they moved away. After they left, I often drove past our old house on Athelstane Road, starving and sliding around on insufficient summer tires, looking at the windows upstairs, now occupied by a different family of ambiguous ethnicity. Fortunately, my brother and his now-wife Andrea moved into the downstairs apartment, which looks exactly like the upstairs apartment - sans 2nd floor. So they feed me from time to time and generously stored my snow tires under their porch.
Second, my brother got MARRIED. The event occurred in California. A lot of you were there and can attest to the loveliness of the nuptials. I got drunk and dragged Ryan outside in the middle of the reception and sobbed while sitting on the alter, claiming that I was just "so emotional but in a good way". Ryan patted my back and questioned his choices.
Actually, the wedding happened at the same time that Ryan and I were about halfway through the INSANITY workout. For those of you who do not know, the INSANITY workout consists of 9 weeks of hellish hour long workouts which you do 6 days a week with a break on Sunday. The whole reason why I decided to do the INSANITY workout was because Ryan and I watched GI Jane and I was truly and deeply inspired by Demi Moore when I found out that there were no camera tricks when they showed her doing 1-armed push-ups. I thought to myself, "I want to do 1-armed push-ups". So, I bought the DVDs off craiglist from a really, really skinny-looking dude who hadn't even broke the cellophane on the package. I'm telling you, from the look of him, he couldn't have handled it.
Anyway, Ryan and I dutifully woke up every single morning at about 6:00AM, rolled back the carpet in my dining room, and turned on Shaun T. (the INSANITY instructor), who basically bullied and tortured us into the best shape I've ever been in my life. Yes, it works. I could do 50 push-ups (not 1-armed though). I randomly ran a 5K and felt like I could run 5K more. I felt awesome every single day and bragged about how awesome I felt every single day and a lot of people became very annoyed with me. Now, 6 months out, could I see myself doing that again? Hellllllllll no. It was so hard. Also, my legs got huge and I went up 2 pant sizes. True story.
 |
| Before INSANITY - little chubster. |
 |
| After INSANITY - still with the big butt, but better overall, I think. |
Third, Ryan got a job as an art teach in Bath, Maine, and moved up there. So, he and I are officially in an LDR. Bath is a 3 hour drive from Boston. Awesomely, it is absolutely no closer to the ski mountains than Boston is. I know, right? You think, "I've driven 3 hours north...I've got to be nearing a ski area", but no. Actually, conveniently, my parent's house is also 2.5 hours away from Boston. And Bath is 3 hours away from Norwich, VT. I know, right? You think, "I've driven 3 hours north, there must be a way to cut across Maine and get to Norwich", but no. Apparently when they designed northern New England, they did not design a highway system that ran East to West. So, as a result, I've spent a whole, whole lot of time driving. Fortunately, I drive a Honda Civic, one of the most efficient cars on the highway today. (God, I love that car. Go SWIFTWIND!)
 |
| WTF, New England??? |
Unfortunately, due to a rock water slide incident that took place in August of 2011, my tailbone did not take to the ride as well as my car did. I started being one of those people that has to use a donut pillow - one of those people who others secretly question whether or not they have really, really horrible hemorrhoids.
Which brings me to -
Fourth - I got a cortizone shot in my butt. I'm not going to get into it. Actually, I am. Only enough to say that getting diagnosed for and receiving the shot is not a comfortable experience for any normal person. HOWEVER, OMG you guys, it worked so well. I am so pro-cortizone. I was under this impression that I'd be a crippled, donut-pillow-using, faux-hemorrhoid-having person for the rest of my life (not that hemorrhoids are something to be ashamed of, but you know what I mean). Now, I realize that it is possible to leave the so-called "tailbone club" and re-join the ranks of people who are able to sit for long periods of time on both butt cheeks. Listen to me right now, people. If you can sit for long periods of time on both butt cheeks, consider how wonderful this is. Really appreciate it, because once you've lost it, you notice it...believe me.
Fifth - I got laid-off.
Now, being laid-off is different than being fired. I hate it when Andy Sydney says something like, "When did you get fired?" Or, "How long has it been since you got fired?"
Ok people...I was NOT fired.
Being fired is when your boss thinks that you suck at your job and you've done something really wrong and they tell you to leave and not come back. I don't think you get unemployment.
Being laid-off is when your boss thinks that basically you are dead weight and don't contribute enough to remain. You get unemployment and severance!
See, it's waaaaay better.
I initially thought that being laid-off would be awesome. I wasn't happy at my job anyway, and I thought that being laid-off would feel like some wonderful, neverending vacation. However, as I'm sure some of you know, there's something highly disconcerting about a "vacation" with no boundaries.
Every day you think, "I should be taking better of advantage of this!" But then you think, "No, I should be looking for a job!" And then you think, "I want to go to Starbucks and get a chai latte, but I shouldn't spend any money!" So then you think, "It's pointless. I'll just stay here and watch episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras from 2009." And then you feel depressed.
It's ok though. It's been about a month and a half and I'm finally feeling semi-ok with the idea of this neverending vacation. I rotate homes between the northern side of the triangle and Boston. When I stay with my parents, my mom feeds me again and this good food goes straight to my soul. My dad constantly drills holes into various projects and cuts up wood and tells me that I'm a good and talented person.
When I stay with Ryan, he feeds me also! And he reminds me that I'm a good person, even though I'm home all day and he's teaching and then he still has to make me dinner at night because I suck at cooking. And even though I'm very slightly crazy.
What's next for me? I'm thinking massage school. I am NOT EVEN KIDDING you guys. I'm ready for a big change. I'm ready for a fantastic 2013. I'm ready to move up to Maine and take one leg out of the triangle journey. I'm ready to engage myself to Ryan and debate whether or not to have a wedding. (It's going to happen any day now. I can feel it!)
So, Happy AnniChrisBirthMikah! (Parents' 41st anniversary on the 18th, my birthday on the 22nd, Christmas and Hanukkah). I wish you all happiness, healthiness and successes for 2013.
I also sincerely hope that the world does not end in 3 days. But if it does, I really meant everything I said in here....except for the part about me being starving all the time because my mom left. I'm only starving some of the time.
xxoo
kate
love it. I'm going to keep reading. I had no idea of these many changes in your life. FB only does so much to "stay in touch". Keep writing
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to add to your list of events - started a blog! I love reading about your adventures, it helps me feel connected to you even when you're not here in this leg of the triangle.
ReplyDeletelove
casey