Musings of an irreverent blonde girl

Let me begin by saying that I read all of the Twilight books and really enjoyed them.  I will further add that the movies were pretty horrible, with the exception of the first one which was cool simply because it came first.  Oh also, I can't stand K Stew and R Patz and Team Jacob and all that crap. However, back to the books themselves.  Many people (rightly) claim that the books are horribly written teen novels, so how the hell did they become so popular?  The people who ask this question have clearly never been a 15 year-old girl with a crush. Never, ever underestimate the power of teenage hormones.  I mean, can't you remember them?  Can't you remember the rush?  I WISH that I could feel a crush as deep as I felt when I was that age.  And now, I will tell you the story of one such crush about a certain young man, B. This is an actual diary entry written about B.  I'll set the scene: I'm lying on my bunk at summer camp, looking out t...

Dear Friends and Family, I am not sending out a holiday card this year, which doesn't mean that if you were going to send me one, you should stop.  I love getting cards.  I relish it.  I won't see any of them until after the New Year because I am holed up in my parents' house in VT, but still...I look forward to seeing them. No....I am not sending out cards this year.  It is mostly for financial reasons.  I like to send out so many cards that it becomes rather costly and, as many of you know, I have joined the ranks of the unemployed.  I've given very small gifts to my family this year, the highlight of which was a lug wrench for my father.  I wrapped it so well that it looks like a lug wrench - wrapped.  He has decided to keep it wrapped, so he'll be the only one changing over his snow tires using a red and green sparkly lug wrench next spring.  It cost $12.99. My dad - pure awesomeness 2012 has been.....interesting.  It's all ...

A while ago, my friend Juliet told me that one her favorite things to do with me was listen to me read old diary entries about various dudes that I've dated over the years.  I mean, it IS kind of funny.  So, I'd like to start sharing some of those stories with you. But first, a reminder to those men I love and care about. Michael - my first love, Erick - my formative love, and Ryan - my forever love, I promise not to write about you in this blog.  (Unless I am referring to you in passing, like, "Ryan looked over my shoulder and nervously asked what I was writing about.") An overview: I am turning 34 27  34 years old in 10 days.  I am still unmarried and not engaged.  I did have a dream last night that I was picking out a wedding dress with my mom at Bloomingdales and it had a diamond cut-out over my navel that was awesome.  But, that moment is still in my future. The sum total of years that I have been in committed relationships is: 5 (five). ...

Blogging is self-indulgent.  I am presupposing that you care about what I have to say and find me entertaining.  So why am I doing this? I'm unemployed and hence kind of bored.  I'm attempting to use this time to do things that I've been thinking about doing for a while but haven't had time.  I love writing.  I've always loved writing. I keep starting stories and not finishing them.  I write in my diary and feel sad that all this effort is basically wasted because no one will ever read it.  (Unless I suddenly die in which case I've given my friends permission to read everything, edit out the gory sex details, and give it over to my parents for them to reminisce and publish and make lots of money off my relatively uninteresting, but well-documented life experience.) My friend Casey.  She inspires me.  She has a blog and has attempted to get me to start one for quite some time, but I've been nervous about it.  I tried starting a blog ...

So, two nights ago, I helped my boyfriend Ryan chaperone a high school semi-formal dance.  I was so overwhelmed with opinions about the whole experience that I felt the need to start an entire blog devoted to these observations. Let's start with the clothes.  The girls whose parents clearly don't care about them wore 5 inch platform heels and Kate Middleton-inspired mini-dresses.   When I say Kate Middleton, I mean in the sense of the lace sleeves that she rocked at her wedding.  Now it seems that everyone wants to add a touch of class in the form of lace sleeves, but the whole concept of class goes out the door when the dress itself ends right below the girl's butt cheeks.  I'd say that 80% of the dresses at this dance were that short.  Also, approximately 100% of these girls were suffering from undergarment malfunctions.  Unfortunately for them, the place was lit with a black light and no one thought to wear a black bra.  There were bra s...