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Dear Sydney, you are not missing out.

Dear Sydney,
You are NOT missing out. 
You have been trying to not fall asleep for about an hour and a half now. 
It is 2am. NOTHING IS GOING ON except me typing this with my thumb. 
Everyone in this neighborhood is asleep right now. Your dad is in the other room, snoozing away (goddamn his ever living soul).  The kitties are sleeping all curled up in their beds. Goodnight moon and all that. 
So really, there is no reason for you to try so hard to stay awake. You are missing nothing interesting. 
I recognize it is my fault for trying to put you down in a drowsy state like the internet told me I should. I should have known better. 1am is no time for sleep training. If I had just effing kept rocking you, you would have been asleep 40 minutes ago. 
Stop it with the sighing and the protests when the pacifier falls out of your mouth and GO TO SLEEP. 
I promise that all the stuff that you think you're missing out on will definitely not happen tomorrow due to your mother's utter exhaustion. So do both of us a favor and let go. Close those pretty, sewer colored baby eyes and....wait....wait...stop that!!!  Why are you smiling at me?!!  Stop smiling!  This is not a funny situation, girlfriend!  
Gah!  
That's it. I quit. 
Oh wait. I can't. 



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  1. Casey FSeptember 9, 2015 at 6:04 AM

    She just loves her momma so much she can't shut her baby blues.
    Now the book "Go the F£$%^ to Sleep" has a whole new meaning for you, right? :-)

    ReplyDelete

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